Cupcakes, Coffee, and Carl

If you could do anything you want tomorrow, what would it be?
Submitted by Becca-Pink.

I would probably marry my best friend.

I surmise that there are no quiet places left. Or at the very maximum, very very few. We, as humans, have destroyed so much of what was once peaceful and quiet. What is left?  The womb and the tomb. The only two natural things left human hands cannot or has not been able to change. Science cannot at this time recreate the habitat of the womb for a premature infant nor can it change the stillness of death. Shouldn't there have been more left unchanged? Do we really benefit from all of this noise? According to WebMD chronic stress can be caused by many things including

"Your surroundings, if you live in a dangerous or uncomfortable area where overcrowding, crime, pollution, or noise is a problem."

Seems kind of loud to me. However noise has its benefits. Perhaps all of our noise is really just a bombast speech in which we aim to mask our insecurities. As it is right now I hear my fingers on the keyboard, a few birds chirping outside, the fridge is running, the fan above my head is swirling...but that is all I hear. It makes me incredibly sad and very lonely. I feel insecure. Anxious.  I miss the joyous sounds of laughter, the simple "sound" of a smile, even the violence of a verbal disagreement. I miss communication, I miss people. 

I guess we all have to find a common ground. I don't think I'm ready for much quiet. I feel dead, lifeless, lonely. I think I'll stick with the "sound" of a soft smile for my quiet place. What else do I really need from life?

What are five things that make you unique?
Submitted by RA<3TA.

1. I'm a vegan

2. I love Cinderella and Winnie the Pooh

3. I love Carl

4. I walk into doors

5. I recycle

yea thats bout it....

I've lost 11 pounds in about 2 weeks...I'm just not eating. I'm not annorexic because I'm not trying to force myself into starvation...I just am never hungry anymore..

XIII. lurid-
   
    1: Ghastly pale; glaring; terrible in color or light.
    2: (Botany) Dingy, clouded, brown color

blase

World-weary; sated, bored with excessive pleasure; jaded

I recently watched Nosferatu on Netflix, and I loved it! I never dreamed a silent film could deliver so much of a story line, suspense, drama, and overall entertainment. I found myself far more scarede during this movie than in other, recent, scary movies. I highly suggest it.

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I have three problems. Nothing new. Well one is new.
Number One:
I can't lose weight. I would like to lose 15-20 pounds which would put me at 160-155 and at my height and body type that would be a very reasonable weight. However until I got sick (I've got strep throat bleh!), I was logging 21 mile weeks, and strength training and that does not include the workouts I get at school through the off season athletics program. I balanced my calories between 1500-1700 calories depending on my workouts that day; creating no more than a 500 calorie deficit. I balanced my caloric percentages using calorie king (using the Runner's Diet formula 50% carbs, 25% Protein, and 25% Fats). So yea that's driving me insane. Before any of you diagnose my eating disorder, allow me to save you the trouble. My therapist already knows and is helping me work through it. I am not, nor have I ever been, anorexic or bulemic; however, I have seriously thought about at times but I didn't follow through with that line of thoughts.
Number Two:
I truly love my best friend. I tell him everything. Remember "Harry" well we'll call him "Carl". I have a new boyfriend now, and Carl has a girlfriend, but everytime I look at my boyfriend I catch myself wishing he were Carl. I thought I really was ready for this new guy, but now all I'm really doing is hurting him and myself and he doesn't deserve that. He is a great person, he's just not who I want.
Number Three:
How do I break up with this new guy? He is a great person-- incredibly sweet, attentive-- but he is just not the right guy for me. He smothers me and I really don't like that. I'm truly at a loss. I don't want to hurt him, but isn't this relationship hurting him anyway?